"Let's get outta town."

~ JSA to DEP (ER 1997)

 

"Please God don't let me be the only one to have fallen out of the raft."

~ DP (ER 1997)

 

"Never confuse Entrada Regatta with a vacation."

~JB (ER 2001)

 

"It's Australian for ax."

~ JA, referring to Gary's log splitting technique (ER 2001)

 

"He's the strong silent type."

~KP, referring to assistant guide (ER 2001)

 

"Larry, BE the Groover!"

~JA (ER 2001)

 

"A relationship doesn't necessarily have to end in marriage."

~ VS (ER 2000)

 

"I left them in the horse."

~HD, when asked where he’d left the car keys (ER 2000)

 

“No problem. It's not that far to the other side.”

~ KP (ER 2000)

 

"Bitch'n rapid!"

~ Rusty (ER 1998)

 

"Forward Please."

~ Vlad to JSA (ER 1999)

 

"I don't snore."

~LR (ER 2000)

 

"We're part of Entrada Regatta, a growing team."

~VS (ER 2000)

 

"Welcome to Travel Hell."

~ LR upon entering United Terminal (ER 2000)

 

"Repel Borders. That's United's business model."

~ LR (ER 2000)

 

"What's that between your legs?"

~ Police officer to KP (ER 2000)

 

It's not that far - I can make it.

~ DP, upon vaulting 2-foot rift and almost breaking foot (ER 2002)

 

"In a raft approaching rapids, there are no Atheists"

~MO (ER 2002)

 

"Sky defines guide."

~ KP (ER 2002)

 

"Can you believe how loud Vincent snores?"

~ LR, after keeping the entire camp site awake with his snoring (ER 2002)

 

"If my first camping experience can't be with a woman with %&$#?@!, it might as well be with you guys."

~HZ (ER 2003)

 

"Hey Chris, it's a shower you can actually pee in."

~ GC to CH (ER 2003)

 

"Do you think I have enough water for the driving tour?"

~HZ (ER 2003)

 

"At least we're not riding horses so our asses won't hurt."

~DP, before the 15-mile mountain bike ride (ER 2003)

 

"The key to getting a second date is simply you not talking."

~HD advice to HZ (ER 2003)

 

"Or his body."

~JB, following a passer-by's comment that MO didn't have Indiana Jones' hat (ER 2003)

 

"Remember shrinkage, guys."

~AS, following his swim in 50-degree Lake Harriett (ER 2004)

 

"Just don't stand next to Phil."

~JA, in response to AS's request that Kip make him look better in the picture (ER 2004)

 

"It's the same thing in relationships."

~JB, in response to the following comment regarding the temperature of Lake Harriett: "Once you're numb, you no longer feel the pain." (ER 2004)

"It's steep at the start, but then it's flat for most of the way."

~JS, somewhat inaccurately describing the hike to Half Dome from the Valley floor (ER 2005)

 

"Hey Guys, water is coming in."

~FC to raft-mates as boat is pretty much submerged by rock wrap (ER 2005)

 

"Please pass the Advil."

~GH at breakfast following Half Dome hike (ER 2005)

 

"Your court time isn’t until 11."

~PS to Greg upon seeing him arrive at breakfast table in something looking very much like a tennis outfit (ER 2005)

 

"Oh Shit."

~Ranger Scott upon hearing news that another woman went over the falls at Half Dome (ER 2005)

 

"The Rangers say move it!"

~DB taking control of stand-still on way down Half Dome cables (ER 2005)

 

"Doug, log on to the internet for God's sake!"

~HD to DP in response to Doug questioning Chris's use of terminology to describe waitress (ER 2006)

 

"Team, meet the ‘The Beast’."

~LR describing the Excursions he rented for the team (ER 2006)

 

"As between, cable TV and sex, sometimes cable wins."

~VS explaining how he knows he is aging (ER 2006)

 

"Every recipe begins with the words "get out the deep fat fryer."

JSA, describing the cookbook on sale at Dillard House (ER 2006)

 

"Even the frogs asked him to shut up."

~Guide describing MO's campsite snoring (ER 2006)

 

"Are you even aiming?"

~FC to JSA following JSA's 1/2 hour at the gun range (ER 2007)

 

"If I wanted to be nagged by a middle-aged woman, I could have stayed home."

~Unnamed team member (ER 2007)

 

"That's why we buy them at Walmart."

~PS, regarding the possibility of someone peeing in their sleeping bag to avoid late-night trek to the river (ER 2007)

 

"I'm upgrading my friends because I'm a little disappointed with Larry lately."

~DB (ER 2007)

 

"Class 5 road; class 3 river."

~The Slovenian, regarding the bus ride to put in (ER 2007)

 

"How?"

~FC responding to JSA's statement "tell me something I don't know" (ER 2007)

 

"Spandex requires commitment."

~PS regarding LR's "not quite spandex" leg-wear (ER 2007)

 

"Does that come in a man's color?"

~VS to LR regarding his red fleece (ER 2007)

 

"It's European."

~DB regarding his "purse" (ER 2007)

 

"What would Harry do?"

~DB, ER 2007 suggesting that if we all asked this question before making decisions (a) we'd be happier, (b) we'd be safer, and (c) we'd be less tired.

 

"We bring Barna to give the rest of us credibility."

~JSA (ER 2007)

 

"We bring Davis to give the rest of us an excuse not to hike."

~Unknown (ER 2007)

 

"Larry - forward."

~Guide using special "Larry-only" commands (ER 2007)

 

"All secured."

~LR, (ER 2007)

 

"I was feeling lucky."

~PS, as part of the First Telling of Menlo Park Incident (ER 2007)

 

"What a bitch."

~KP describing Maggie the canine guide (ER 2007)

 

"The last time I paid for entertainment, it cost me a bottle of penicillin."

~Anonymous, responding to FC rationalizing his en route gambling debt as ‘the cost of entertainment’ (ER 2008)

 

"Not that I mind, but do you think you could pull up your swimsuit?"

~DP to River Guide (ER 2008)

 

"If the criteria is that you have to have regular sexual relations, then I'm still at 0 to this day"

~Anonymous, discussing what constitutes being in a ‘serious relationship’ (ER 2008)

 

"It has to be high enough so they don't go hungry, but low enough so they don't have an incentive."

~MB, responding to question re how much life insurance is enough (ER 2008)

 

"I don't care what you tell her about me almost drowning, but don’t tell her about the food I ate."

~DB (ER 2008)

 

“You just can’t have a serious conversation in a SaveMart.”

~ Two guides discussing problems in their boyfriend – girlfriend relationship (ER 2009)

 

“I hate you.”

~JSA to FC immediately upon waking after sleeping within ear-shot of FC’s snoring (ER 2009)

 

“He stopped snoring - maybe’s he’s dead. Good night.”

~KP to JSA at a momentary lapse in LR’s snoring (ER 2009)

 

“Toner emergency in GSA Region 6.”

~LR comments upon MO’s inability to put down his blackberry. (ER 2009)

 

“Exactly what is an alternate investment?”

~A concerned LR to RB and HD following a discussion of investment vehicles. (ER 2009)

 

“I’m going to abstain -- like Doug should.”

~KP during annual ER vote regarding DP’s future child plans (ER 2009)

 

 “Jumping salmon, bald eagles, dear, and the North American Dumb-Ass.”

~LR describing wildlife seen on ER-15 (ER 2011)

 

“You can put them in front of 20 million people and make them sing and dance, but don’t call them Eskimos. That would be offensive.”

~KP after being told that he must use the phrase ‘First Nations’ rather than ‘Eskimo’ to describe native Canadians (ER 2011)

 

 “Maybe the guides are honest here in Canada.”

~GC, commenting on lack of incredible river stories from the Canadian guides (ER2011)

 

“Roll over!!!”

~Woman in nearby Curry Village tent yelling at LR in his tent in an effort to stop his snoring. (ER 2012)

 

“Slow Down Harry.”

~DB to HD during Glacier Point hike (ER2012)

 

“Sorry. I was confused by the Exit Sign.”

~LR in airport garage while trying to deal with interesting directions from Enterprise Rental Car personnel (ER 2012)