ER 1: September, 1997 – Colorado River

 

September 5: Doug and Jonathan fly to Utah where they meet up with Chris - unaware that they are embarking upon a journey of historic proportions.

 

September 6-7: Ranger Melissa gives private tour of White River National Forest; sells hat to JSA for $25; Team hikes Colorado NM; packs inadequate water; gets lost; almost dies.

 

September 8-9: Team rafts Colorado River; flips; Team almost dies.

 

September 9: Hessler joins Team on 5-mile pitch black, dirt road trip to Entrada Ranch. Road is difficult to navigate; Team almost dies. Team checks into Entrada Ranch; discovers Internet isn’t always accurate.

September 10-11: Team checks out of Entrada Ranch; Perry prohibited from choosing hotels for all eternity. Team name is born; Team hikes Canyonlands and Arches NPs, Jackie enters Team ER history. JSA almost dies.

 

ER 2: September, 1998 - Green River

 

Ruggerio and Salgado join Team ER.

 

September 10: Team arrive in-country.

 

September 11: Team explores Flaming Gorge NRA by mountain bike; Ruggerio takes spill, draws blood, almost dies.

September 12-13: Team rafts Green River through Dinosaur NM; Hessler pilots raft for first time. Hessler pilots rafts for last time - Team almost dies. Massive hail storm.

September 14: Team explores Dinosaur NM by foot. Packs adequate water, stays on trail; no casualties.

 

 

ER 3: September, 1999 – Tuolumne River

 

Bluth and Perry (K) join team; First ER merchandise hits street. Shortages of desirable sizes in tasteful colors sparks global riots; Team almost dies.

September 8: Team meets in San Francisco for ER99; hotel clerk has eyes for Salgado; Salgado almost dies.

September 9: Team hikes Half Dome; visits summit; massive thunder storm. Bluth, JSA, Salgado almost die.

September 10-11: Team rafts Tuolomne River, Yosemite NP. Camps under stars while being strafed by bats; Perry (K) jumps from extraordinary height, almost die.

 

 

ER 4: August, 2000 - Upper Salmon River

 

Garcia, Caldwell, Davis, and Shub join Team; ER2K merchandise hits the street.

August 17: Team flies United to ER2K; Team almost dies.

 

ER 5: 2001 – Arkansas River

Coming Soon!

 

 

ER 6: September, 2002 – Colorado River

 

Ruggiero rents Ford Taurus instead of Outback; almost dies at hands of Team.

 

September 5: Team flies to Grand Junction on Delta for start of ER'02. Team hikes Arches NP backcountry through cougar territory, in the dark. Ruggiero attacked by rabbit; almost dies of fright.

 

September 6: Team mountain bikes Gemini Bridges Trail in Moab; Perry (D) feels faint, nearly dies.

 

September 7: Team rafts Colorado River in torrential downpour. Flash flood; Team almost dies. That night, Team considers killing Ruggiero to stop the snoring.

 

September 8: Class 4 / 4+ rapids, Ruggiero in front seat; enough said – Team almost dies.

 

September 9: Team returns to the United States.

 

 

ER 7: August, 2003 – Colorado River

 

August 14: Team arrives Moab, Utah for ER'03; violates ER safety regulations by putting five members on same regional jet from Denver. Team watches moonrise over red cliffs of Moab from comfort of Red Cliffs Lodge; amazing!

 

August 15: Following breakfast on patio, team chastised for not bringing enough water on bike trip; team reacts with pompous self-righteousness. Team bikes 15 miles; fails to bring enough water, almost dies. Later, Team hikes Arches National Park; ceremonially designated Ed Evans as “Runs Without Sweat”.

 

August 16: ER First: Team takes jet boat to rafting put in at Cataract Canyon; after a day of rafting under the towering Canyon walls and soaring falcons, team relaxes over one the best river meals in ER history; spends evening talking, laughing, listening longingly to guide stores, and cracking a bullwhip. Caldwell, Evans, and Hessler nearly die in freak bullwhip incident.

 

After embarrassing failure to put up tents, team sleeps under beautiful California stars; Davis nearly dies trying to locate groover at 2:30 in the morning without flashlight.

 

August 17: Team makes leisurely post-breakfast float into Lake Powell; discussing “Dating Howard” movie pilot. ER First: Teams takes 6-seater prop planes from take-out back to outfitter; team nearly dies as flight takes off over edge of cliff and heads back over the confluence of the very green Green River and the very brown Colorado River.  

 

 

ER 8: September, 2004 - Upper Klamath River

 

Team welcomes Hunt, Schiff, and Strauss to Team.

 

September 9: Larry's announcement at Dulles Airport of suspension of all bowl movements for ER'04 met with much fanfare. Team hikes Mt. Scott, Garfield Pike; meets at Crater Lake Lodge for ER'04 In-country briefing. Rookie of the Year competition begins in earnest; Selection Committee announces willingness to accept bribes. Team travels by night from Crater Lake to Klamath Falls; gets lost; cell phones fail, entire team nearly dies.

 

September 10: Team gets lost en-route to Safeway. Larry makes annual Metamucil run to local grocery store. Team hikes 17.1-mile Mountain Loop Trail in Mountain Lakes Wilderness; Team teases JSA mercilessly regarding micro-trash.

 

Schiff first rookie to enter lake; Perry subsequently shames Hunt into swimming; Campoamor subsequently shames JSA into swimming. Phil spends 1/2 hour in 50 degree Hidden Lake; rest of team spends 50 seconds (collectively).  Ruggiero affirmatively states that he'd rather die of hypothermia than lie with another man; Team happy to respect his wishes. Kip gashes foot on rocks at Hidden Lake; Kip loses much blood, needs to be carried last 2 miles; almost dies.

 

JSA & Ruggiero convinced they’re lost during last 5 miles of hike; plan emergency overnight bear-protection strategy.

 

September 11: Team rafts Upper Klamath, Campoamor swims first rapid (Caldera) in Team's first major incident of '04; nearly drowns; JSA prepares for death at hands of Fernando's wife.

 

Team camps under stars; fortunately avoids rain. Davis opts for tent for fear of death by CPAP machine electrocution. Team leaves Ruggiero asleep in middle of Forest Service road; Ruggiero nearly run over under stars.

 

September 12: Ruggiero grooves; CBS seeks exclusive with team. Salgado leads failed assault on Guide Aaron's raft, O'Neill leads subsequent failed assault; major melee ensues. Davis knocked into river; almost dies. 

 

September 13: Team returns to real life; bids ER'04 a fond farewell, rookie of the year decision taken under advisement by Committee.

 

 

ER 9: September, 2005 – Tuolumne River

 

Thursday: Team arrives Yosemite National Park, takes short hike to Columbia Rock with Ranger Doug before celebrating ER-9 over champagne at the VIP table at the Yosemite Lodge with Park Superintendent.

 

Friday: Following an early breakfast at the ER Condo, Team ER heads to meet Ranger Doug for a 12 hour, 17 mile, 1 mile elevation hike to the top of Half Dome; Team comments on JSA’s faulty recollection of length of Valley portion of hike; team rallies behind an initially hesitant Barna to ensure that everyone makes it up the cables. Entire team stuck on cables due to woman stuck on the cables paralyzed by fear; team nearly falls to their death while waiting. Team narrowly survives, but comes upon an unfortunate swimmer (and a number of SAR personnel) en-route back down to the Valley.  ER First: O’Neill sleeps through entire dinner at Iron Door.

 

Saturday: Team ER meets “Mike” and “High Pockets,” learns the true meaning of “extreme dating”. The Tuolumne is as amazing as ever, and the Clavey is as fun as ever; team spends night under the stars, but nearly dies during multiple strafing runs of a bird of unknown species.

 

Sunday: Team hits Clavey Falls rapid right after breakfast, gets caught in the middle of the falls, watches raft fill with water which no one notices except for a concerned Campoamor. Raft subsequently becomes stuck on every rock in the Tuolumne River; other raft has visit from river snake and Team almost dies, but saved by Barna: using his keenly honed NPS animal rescue skills, he removed said snake from boat to sighs of relief from 6 other ER paddlers.

 

Team still limping from Yosemite climb holds business meeting held as usual; team plans 10-year anniversary event for 2006.

 

ER 10: July, 2006 – Chattooga River

 

July 4: Director of National Park Service recognizes ER as "an event of mythical proportions".

 

July 20: Team sets out on 10th Anniversary ER; United pilot nearly makes emergency landing when Vincent can't hold his pee until we depart security space.

 

Team arrives in two waves; first showing of Kip's "A Decade of Entradatude" movie in bar of resort. Team enjoys anniversary dinner in Clayton, Georgia; introduction of ER Swag Bag.

 

July 21: Team hikes to floor of Tallulah Gorge; basks in impressive physical feat until noticing 30 girl scouts already playing in gorge floor swimming hole. Team vows not to tell the folks back home. Schiff falls in river while fording; Perry K falls on rocks while hiking; both nearly die.

 

Hessler, JSA, Schiff, and Perry K opt to return via gorge floor; to prove their manliness, team decides to run down to the gorge and then back up. Hessler makes it 200 steps back up, Schiff makes it 142 steps back up, and Perry K and JSA make it 100 steps back up.

 

Later that day, demonstrating evolution of ER, team returns early from hike for dinner and wine tasting with John and Marcia in the middle of Tiger Mountain Vineyards; team vows not to tell the folks back home. Team dines at the "all you can eat" Dillard House, nearly dies of cardiac arrest. Back at lodge, Andrew sleeps in closet due to O'Neill's snoring; JSA sleeps on living room floor due to Fernando's snoring.

 

July 22: Team views Deliverance prior to setting out on the Chattooga River; vows not to tell folks back home.

 

Team rafts Section IV of the Chattooga River; swears they hear banjo music. Doug, Kip, Gary, Nando all take spills; Vincent explains "pipeline" theory.

 

July 23: Team awakes early to typically wonderful river breakfast; Vincent coughs coffee over much of Team ER; hit major rapids. Upon returning to land, team watches professional picture slideshow before negotiating to purchase rights to all photos; annual Business Meeting; vote to nominate JSA for another term passes 10-1.

 

July 24: Team returns to real world; recognizes many firsts of ER10, including Vincent's first time turning down a clear come-on from a local.

 

 

ER 11: August, 2007 – Gunnison River

 

August 2: Team arrives in Denver; embarks upon seemingly endless drive to Hotchkiss, with important stop at "All Things Buffalo" for lunch; makes it to Scenic Mesa Ranch before sundown. Perry makes annual Wal-Mart run.

 

Keeping with tradition, team honors local Mexican eatery with a visit.

 

August 3: Following early made-to-order breakfast (prepared by Emma), team heads into Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park, not realizing that almost all auto fuel was consumed by interminable drive from Denver; team narrowly avoids very embarrassing mistake.

Team hikes BCGNP; but showing an embarrassing commitment to the "no more than a 10-mile hike" vote taken in 2006, refuses to go on second hike. Team rescues man from flipped car en-route back to ranch, watches as man removes cases of beer from front seat and ditches it in nearby gully.

 

Ruggiero, Barnes, Strauss, Campoamor, and most everyone else except JSA prove that they would be able to protect themselves and their families if ever attacked by bright orange clay disks. Annual Welcome Dinner at Ranch with local game and wine pairings; after discussing Kip's daughter and her boyfriend for about 1 minute, Kip calls for vote that daughters are excluded from all ER conversations (vote passes 12-0).

 

August 4: Following Davis's one-mile hike to put-in, team rafts Gunnison River with Maggie the River Dog; Strauss floats between camps, demonstrating once again that we bring him for credibility; Barna obsesses over cleanliness of guides' cooking procedures (Team later votes 12-0 to withhold Outfitter of the Year status). Teams retire early to adjoining camps for a night of sleeping under a perfect star filled sky.

 

August 5: Hike down river highlights further beauty of Gunnison Gorge; Salgado skips hike purported to "keep Davis company," proving once again that Davis is an enabler; second side hike to waterfall, also amazing.

 

Minutes from Annual Business Meeting: 

 

• Motion by Perry that outfitter NOT receive Outfitter of the Year status (passes 12-0)

• Motion by Davis that Barnes be designated Rookie of the Year (passes 10-2) (we hear that Maggie the Dog took the loss well).

• Motion by Ruggiero that no one can bring anything resembling a lady’s purse on future ERs (passes 9-

• Motion by Campoamor that no one can wear anything resembling lady’s tights on future ERs (passes 10-2)

• Sense of the Committee motion by JSA that Ruggiero should get engaged (passes 10-2)

 

Team makes the trek back to Denver; marks territory in parking garage somewhere in Vail (you'd think such a beautiful town would offer free restrooms).

 

August 6: Team returns to real life healthier, happier, and more emotionally stable than before.

 

 

ER 12: September, 2008 – Lower Klamath

 

September 11: Team thumbs its collective nose and flies on 11/11; arrives in Sacramento and embarks on long drive to Redding. ER First: Personal Chef preparing dinner in lodge upon our arrival; team takes pictures of hotdog on stick and sleeping bag in woods to show spouses.

 

September 12: Team hikes PCT to Seven Lakes Basin; Kip hikes with bad knee; almost dies. Team swims in cold, clear, deep Alpine lake. ER First: Harry hikes more than one mile; almost dies. ER First: Dinner on a houseboat!

 

Nancy cooks wonderful dinner; JA, AS, KP jump off top of houseboat into Shasta Lake; both almost die.

 

September 13: ER First: Inflatable Kayaks! Times Overboard: VS-3, KP-4, FC-1, HD-1 (Falls on rocks while scouting rapid), DP-3, JA-1, MB-1, AS-3, DB-2 (total carnage)

 

September 14: Beautiful morning on river!

 

ER 13: August, 2009 – American River

 

August 5: Team makes annual Wal-Mart run; secures Coppertone Inflatable Life Ring for Larry. Team visits oldest winery (actually, oldest vintners) in El Dorado County; vintners blitzed before team arrives. Great food, great drinks.

 

August 6: ER First: Team plays paintball in the California hills.  No one can walk (or get onto or off of a chair) for next two days. Schiff kills most everyone; Davis brings his own full body camouflage. Ruggiero and Barna exhibit typical vanity parading around in USN issued BDUs, while Salgado uses prior Adams Morgan training to stay alive. O’Neill manages to go through 5,000 rounds in first game alone. Ruggiero nearly dies diving into trench to escape pursuing JSA, but ultimately succumbs with two rounds to the back of the head. Most of team suffers from excessive welting; Victoria. (need we say more?). ER First: Campoamor presents murder case (with exhibits).

 

August 7: Stricken with fear, Ruggiero dons helmet backward; team decides to just go with it.  Davis falls from raft, almost dies; some wade along the shore of American River to pick fresh blueberries after lunch, while Bersch explains the theory of special and general relativity to those on the shore.

 

Team camps under the stars along the Middle Fork of the America but imposes 30-yard TRO against Ruggiero due to snoring issue.

 

August 8: Schiff breaks Campoamor’s nose then chastises him for slowing his paddling to look for blood.

 

Minutes from Annual Business Meeting: 

 

• Campoamor motion to celebrate ER-15 in British Columbia passes unanimously 

• Motion that Perry, D should have no more children passes (9 yes, 0 no, 1 abstain)

• O’Neill motion to bring spouses fails (10 - 0)

• Perry K motion that only one Wal-Mart stop should be allowed on any given ER passes unanimously

 

 

ER 14: August, 2010 – Snake River

 

August, 25: Team arrives Jackson Hole; loads into Thrifty van, leaves airport, returns to airport upon the realization that Barna was still in the restroom. Team learns that “off airport” has a different meaning in Montana than it does in DC.

 

August 26: Team heads north into Grand Teton National Park to Signal Mountain Lodge, is awed by scenery; after a day of hiking, viewing, and lounging, team spends evening at Jackson Lake Lodge watching the stars and the Space Station, which flies directly overhead at precisely 9:29 pm (confirming that Salgado really does have the pull at NASA he says he has).

 

August 27: Team smartly changes plans when three Cowboys who easily could have killed anyone of us (except maybe Strauss who was not there) informs us that the reservations that had been in place for months would have to be cancelled because they were getting ready for mink hunting season (or something like that) and that they weren’t allowed to wake up the owners notwithstanding the 15 guests standing in their driveway. As a backup plan, the team hikes the Two Oceans Lake trail through bear country, which causes Salgado and Schiff no small amount of consternation; team almost kills JSA over 7.4 miles of loudly yelling “Yo Bear” around every corner. ER FIRST: Davis hikes 7.4 miles.

 

Rain delays rafting put-in, the irony of which is not lost on the team; ultimately rain stops and team ER hits the Snake River under beautiful skies, followed by great barbecue overlooking river as bald eagles soar overhead; team encounters problem getting seated at Signal Mountain Lodge because empty restaurant is “fine dining,” and “could become crowded at any moment”; team takes business (and official practice of tipping exorbitantly) elsewhere.

 

August 28: Team mounts bikes for early morning trip through the rain in Grand Teton National Park; Davis and Hessler both participate; lightning storm surprises team and team almost dies before taking cover on Post Office porch. Soaked team eats seventh bison-based meal; team drives to Yellowstone National Park and takes up residence at Old Faithful Inn, the most amazing lodge in the world; the Inn refuses to substitute ER flag for US flag while team is in residence.

 

Team hikes geyser section of Yellowstone National Park; almost dies of sulfur inhalation and hypothermia (due to unrelenting rain). Returns to Old Faithful Inn to steal chips and salsa from wedding party prior to dining in the Inn’s main dining room; after dinner, team takes stroll to Old Faithful, talking about death, life, fluctuations, and “you’re not here for the hunting, are you” jokes.

 

August 29: Team heads north of Old Faithful to explore rest of geyser region of Yellowstone, almost dies in traffic jam caused by slow Bison; team hikes to the top of Yellowstone Falls and then down 328 stairs to bottom of falls. En route back to car, team devises brilliant plan to put the unemployed to work producing energy on the nation’s unused treadmills; figures it solves unemployment, energy, economic, and obesity problems at same time.

 

Annual business meeting held at Windswept Ranch; team almost dies when Hessler decides that the best way to defrost beef and elk is to leave it out on the counter for three days. Team watches ER slide show and realizes that we definitely are not as young as we used to be.

 

Business Meeting Minutes

 

• Motion that Larry should propose to Sandy (passes 11-0)

• Motion that JSA should continue as Committee Chairperson (passes 10-1)

• Motion that ER celebrates 15th anniversary in British Columbia (passes 11-0)

• Motion that camping should be a mandatory part of any ER (fails 6-5)

• Survey as to whether Perry will have another kid within 3 years (11-0 yes)

• Motion to recognize Davis as the most improved ER team member (passes 11-0)

• Motion to recognize Hessler as the most courageous ER team member (passes 11-0)

 

 

ER 15: 2011 – Clearwater River

 

Coming Soon!

 

 

ER 16: 2012 –Tuolumne River

 

August 22: Team ER (Wave 1) sets off on its 16th adventure, returning once again to Yosemite National Park; vows never again to rent from Enterprise Rent-a-Car.

 

August 23: Team hikes Mariposa Grove and Glacier Point, with postcard view of Half Dome; realizes how stupid forthcoming Half Dome hike really is; meets Wave 2 back at Curry Village where subsequent view of Half Dome confirms lack of wisdom in Team’s hiking selection; Team joins Ranger Scott and Carey for dinner at Yosemite Lodge; Team learns that Ranger Carey’s husband can run the Half Dome trail in less than 3 hours and decides it’s probably best to keep distance from Carey.

 

August 24: Team hikes Half Dome and realizes that the hike is longer and the mountain higher than it was 5 years ago; Bluth hikes with bad knee; Hessler hikes with cancer-caused lack of balance; Salgado, for the first time, hikes in hiking shoes; Bersch gets debilitating cramp and almost dies on Cables; Ruggiero, Scott, and JSA venture off trail, get lost, and nearly die;

 

Team makes the 17-mile hike in exactly 12 hours, saved from death only by on-Cable massage administered by Ranger Carey to Bersch, and beers in the hands of Barna upon returning to Curry Village; Team dines in Curry Village with very little movement.

 

August 25: Team takes Class 5 bus ride to attack the Class 4 rapids of the Tuolumne; Salgado, still unable to walk from Half Dome hike, opts for unsanctioned side trip to Tahoe instead of rafting; despite low water levels, Team handles multiple Class III and IV rapids without any near death experiences; after battling rapids successfully, Blasko nearly dies in a Kip-esque move swimming across the river at camp; evening under the stars with bats zipping back and forth overheard; Barna requests ear plugs so he does not have to listen to Barnes’ astronomy lesson.

 

August 26: Team wakes to Bald Eagle perched above camp and coffee brewing; Team explores abandoned gold mine; after a terrific, if bee-infested breakfast, Team heads back into the rapids of the Tuolumne; Hessler nearly dies negotiating the rocks to the lunch spot; Team makes it back to dry land alive; following annual business meeting, Ruggiero gets lost driving to San Francisco.

 

Business Meeting Minutes:

 

• Motion that Joe Blasko be designed “Rookie of the Year” (passes 12-0)

• Motion that “The Committee” be renamed “The Politburo” (passes 10-2)

• Motion that “The Committee” be reelected for 2013 (passes 11-1)

• Motion that Sierra Mac be designated “Outfitter of the Year” (passes 12-0)

• Motion that Larry propose to Sandy (passes 9-2-1)

• Motion that ER establish the “5 paddle award of excellence” for outstanding outfitters (passes 12-0)

• Motion to designate Hessler as the Most Improved Member (passes 12-0)

 

August 27: Team ER returns to civilization and waits requisite 6 weeks to see who dies of hantavirus after spending 2 days in Curry Village at Yosemite National Park; recognizes irony of surviving the Class IV rapids of the Tuolumne and the Cables of Half Dome only to die from mouse poop.

 

ER 17: 2013 - 

 

Coming soon!

 

ER 18: September, 2014 – Klamath River

 

Coming soon!

 

ER 19: September, 2015 – Glacier National Park

 

Coming soon!